Turd Master

In town, we had a guy who came once a week and cleaned up the dog doo out of the yard.  For $5 per week (per dog), he would come clean up the yard and take the poo with him!  Best $5 a week I’ve ever spent.  He’s been cleaning our yard for around 10 years and now that we are house-less, I am having to clean up the poo myself.

The dogs each have their own way of poo-ing, I’ve discovered.  The golden dog (she who can do no wrong in the husband’s eyes) is a circle poo-er.  She walks in a circle as she goes.  I call it the fairy circle of sh*t.  Not fun to clean up outside and even less on the occasion she has an accident inside.  She doesn’t like to go in the dog run.  Even though it is large enough, she prefers the yard.  She’s pretty good about going in the bushes or far away from where we are or the kids play, but I still wish she would keep her circle-sh*tting ways localized.

The one-eyed wonder (yes, she had to have her eye removed a week ago) likes to poo in a direct walking/playing path.  Since I’m with her all the time and since she takes forever to go (I feel like I should get her a magazine to read), it’s easy to pick up after her right after she goes.

Then there is the puppy (9 months old).  He who doesn’t give a sh*t.  That dog will go anywhere, anytime. I swear he poos 5 or 6 times a day.  Each one is in a different place, each one a different consistency.  Oooh, and he is stealthy about it, too.  Little buggar.  I usually don’t find his until I’ve stepped in it.

The other day, the youngest called me the Turd Master as I was combing the lawn for land mines.  Not a title I’m overly fond of, but considering my analysis above, it’s probably fitting.  As soon as we’ve gotten a more permanent dog containment solution, I’m calling the dog poo guy.  I don’t need this sh*t.

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Wife, mom, small business owner, and hobby farm hopeful.
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One Response to Turd Master

  1. Mom says:

    Hah! How funny oh great turd herder!

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